By Abby Bower & Skylar Raymond
Co-Managing Editors

DEAR ABBY,
I broke up with my boyfriend of eight years recently. He was seeing his therapist for more than mental help if you know what I mean. Anyways, I’ve always used his Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu accounts and I even have my own profiles on them, but since we’ve broken up, everytime I get on to watch something they have a new offensive name for me under the profile. They make me so sad, but also like, free streaming you know? Should I just cut the cord and get my own? Help please! 
–SINCERELY, NETFLIX AND BULLYING

DEAR NETFLIX AND BULLYING,
We’ve all been there. You need to retaliate, so here’s the plan. It’s actually quite simple. Tomorrow morning, go into your accounts and change whatever name they decide to call you that day to ‘Settings.’ Trust me when I say this is a foolproof plan.
SINCERELY, ABBY
DEAR ABBY,
Recently I got a call from an unknown number and I answered, the man on the phone didn’t speak very great english and it was hard to understand him, anyways one thing led to another and I ended up giving away all of my information and I mean all of it. Social Security, bank information, pin numbers, credit card information, insurance, the whole shabang. My bank accounts are being charged over $20,000 at McDonald’s all over the world, and I can assure you I am not spending that much for some McChickens. How do I end this disaster without my family finding out? 
–SINCERELY, McBROKE

DEAR McBROKE,
Have you tried nicely asking for him to stop and give your money back? Usually people are pretty understanding and I firmly believe that if you let him know you did not want him to steal all your information this can be resolved. I will add that maybe if you’re willing to give out all that information over the phone maybe you are too dumb to have a credit card. 
SINCERELY, ABBY
DEAR ABBY,
I’m not one to have psychotic breaks often, but when I do it’s bad. I used to get my eyelashes done once every month, but the cost was just beginning to be way too much for me to keep up with making minimum wage. Anyways, I wasn’t having the best week and my eyelashes looked so bad I decided to take them all out, no I don’t have the patience to soak them off or go in and get them taken off, so I ripped. I ripped until they all were out, until I realized, the false extensions were connected to my real eyelashes. I had been ripping out my real eyelashes when I thought it was only the false, now not only do I not have long, luscious, beautiful lashes, I don’t have any real ones! What do I do to not look like a mole rat everyday? 
–SINCERELY, EYE’BALLED’

DEAR EYE’BALLED’,
You really have gotten yourself in quite the predicament. I have two possible solutions for you. First, and I feel like this is obvious, just go buy some glue on lashes. While this might get a little expensive, it is the perfect way to have eyelashes to wear during the day, and have eyelashes to rip off during your breakdowns. The second isn’t as realistic but, it is more cost effective. Simply get a fine tip sharpie and draw them on every morning. Truthfully no one will really be able to notice unless they were looking really close. 
SINCERELY, ABBY