Note: This article was part of the Bengal’s Purr April Fools satire series published April 1, 2020.
With the construction of the new Lewiston High School building nearly complete, many new classes will be implemented in the coming school year. The goal, hopefully, is to foster the love of learning in students and prepare them for life after high school. Some of the favorites course descriptions go as follows:
Hide and Seek 147: Hide and seek is a co-ed physical education class that teaches students the rules, safety, and skills to play the game. If students pass with a 79% or higher, they’re eligible to take Competitive Hide and Seek for college credit.
Emoji Design and Production: This year-long course guides students from start to finish through the design and production of emojis. For the final project, students will submit their finished projects to the Unicode Consortium, where they can be accepted and implemented into smartphones for everyday use.
Hand Washing and Application: Students learn proper hand washing techniques and practice in real-life scenarios, recording their practice in a daily log. With the spread of COVID-19, along with various other infectious diseases, this class thoroughly prepares students for prevention. It offers hand washing and sanitizing while educating students of the dangers of direct and indirect contact. This information provides students with the skills they need to defend themselves.
Introduction to Primitive Survival: This course teaches students the basics of primitive survival techniques which they will demonstrate in bi-weekly field trips. With nothing but the clothes on their backs, students will build tools, fires and huts, and collaborate on a functional swimming pool for their final project.
Sasquatch Spotting: This is a one-semester in-depth study and skill practice course for the spotting and identification of sasquatches. With the guidance of several certified instructors, students break into small groups and venture out at various times.