As a lifelong Beatles fan, I watched Beetlejuice expecting a hilarious mash-up of Halloween and the 1960s pop quartet. But, much to my disappointment, this was not the case. I was left watching a lackluster 92 minutes without Paul and the gang!
There was a distinct lack of Beatles tracks as well; not once did Tim Burton and his team add even a simple “Hey Jude.” Instead, they chose to use a lousy 1950s song about bananas. I mean, come on!
The distinct lack of Beatlemania is genuinely appalling; not once is the title character, played by Michael Keaton, chased by screaming teenagers, nor is he ever singing about holding hands and telling people to get back to where they once belonged. My main issue with the film is the absence of Ringo Starr; it has yet to be explained why he is not there along with any of the band.
If I directed the film, instead of the family dancing to that obnoxiously gross banana song, they’d be singing and dancing to “Helter Skelter.” The entire soundtrack would consist of Beatles tracks — I know Warner Brothers could afford it. I would also have cast Ringo as the title character; Paul as the young daughter, Lydia; George as the father, Adam; and the late John Lennon as the mother, Barbara. My next choice would be to have the story set in England, specifically in Liverpool.
Overall, the film is an abysmal 92 minutes of unfunny, Beatles-less hijinx with no entertainment value, meaning its rating of 0/5 is entirely deserved. TIM BURTON SHOULD BE ASHAMED, I PROPOSE LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
