Spanish classes banned under new executive order

Note: This article was part of the Bengal’s Purr April Fools satire series published April 1, 2020.

Amidst all of the COVID-19 craziness in the White House currently, President Donald Trump has signed a new executive order, effective immediately. All Spanish language classes are hereby prohibited in U.S. public schools.

Executive Order ID10T went into effect April 1, 2020, and is expected to be in place for the foreseeable future.

This decision will affect public school students all over the U.S. As for those who are currently in a Spanish language class, they will not receive credits due to this new order. Students are advised to pick up a new language class such as American or British in the coming school year. As for teachers, they are simply relieved of their duty as Spanish language instructors.

Teachers should actually be grateful, very grateful that they have less work now. Personally I think it was a very gracious decision of mine,” said Trump in a press conference addressing Order ID10T.

Students should also consider the effect this may have on their remote learning due to school closures. There is now more time in a students day to undertake hobbies such as mouth-breathing or wearing dirty shoes inside the home.