Fake News: Troubled students seek advice

Trouble in parking

DEAR JOE BENGAL,
I’m having trouble with the parking lot and can’t seem to have the same spot every day. I wish there were something I could do. Please help me. — FRESHMAN

DEAR FRESHMAN
Be patient with the people around you. All you have to do is make sure you’re backed in correctly. Just kidding, there’s no way around it, and first-year students can park at P1FCU down the street. — JOE BENGAL

Trouble with friends

DEAR JOE BENGAL,
I’m a Senior, and I’m having trouble with my friends. It feels like they all just ghosted me without a reason why. What should I do to win them back? — SENIOR

DEAR SENIOR,
Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry to say, but it’s just high school, and nothing else matters after you’re out of school. Being a senior is a point in your life when you’re supposed to have fun. Don’t let a few rude people get you down. — JOE BENGAL