Doctors cure the clumsy

Dear Dr. Fact & Dr. Faux,
There’s this girl and she is literally the best. She fits all my criteria and I really like her. But it turns out that I have been reading between the lines and she doesn’t like me (or at least there is no indication that she does) any more than just as a friend. I believe she likes someone else from a whole different school. I don’t know what to do because I can’t make myself not like her.
Head over Heels

Dear Head over Heels,
Sometimes it can be tough to look at a friendship for what it is, and not romanticize it, at least a little. Although it’s good to know what you’re looking for in a girl, you shouldn’t have a list of check boxes or criteria to fit. You could just try to appreciate the special friendship you have with her, you could tell her how you feel (scary, I know, especially when factoring in the possibility of the other person), or make a deliberate, disciplined effort to get over her. Boundaries can be difficult, but in the end, they are beneficial to your mental health, and the friendship that hopefully remains between the two of you. If you’re still sticking around, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak. Head over Heels, it’s time to pick yourself up and put one foot in front of the other. After the initial turnaround, you should know that just because this girl doesn’t like you in a romantic way, it’s not an indicator of whether or not you’re likable. Even if 99% of the world doesn’t find you attractive, there’s still a whole 78 million people who do. Living in a small town like Lewiston might not make it feel that way, but give it time. You’re still young and this is such a special time to make strong connections with people, whether it be friendships or relationships. Just remember: love is like a soup. Each ingredient (aka each type of love) on it’s own is good, but it has to have all of the different components to make it truly fulfilling.
In Wisdom and Good Will,
Dr. Fact

Dear Head over Heels,
Well, you have one of two options. You can either find a way to move on, or wallow over this girl for the rest of your life. Personally, I would go with the “wallow for the rest of your life” option. I remember this one time, there was this person that I really liked, but sadly, they didn’t like me back. Like any other reasonable person, I harbored these feelings and refused to let go. Now, I have become the most bitter person I know and I refuse to believe in love! Whenever I see a happy couple, I like to throw grains of rice at them and run away in the other direction, just like the good Lord would want me to. Maybe you should try throwing rice like I do. It really relieves a lot of stress. Moving on (or not moving on in our case, hahahaha)… So what if this girl likes a different person from another school? Just move to another school district, and then you will be the person from the other school who she likes. It’s all about perspective. But anyway, good luck with whatever you were talking about. Hopefully you can become old and bitter just like I am.
Good Luck and Good Riddance,
Dr. Faux