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Kamala Harris issues warning to President Biden

 A statue of Roman dictator Julius Caesar with the face of President Biden. Photo illustration by Declan Cattrysse.
A statue of Roman dictator Julius Caesar with the face of President Biden. Photo illustration by Declan Cattrysse.

Last Thursday, future President Kamala Harris issued a statement explicitly addressed to President Joe Biden, stating that he should “Beware the ides of March.” Since hitting the press, the President’s cabinet has worked effortlessly to figure out what Harris meant. Former host of FOX News’ “Tucker Carlson Tonight,” Tucker Carlson, has since said over the air that “those closest to the President still have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about.” Upon further questioning, Carlson spoke of his personal beliefs on the matter, to which he said, “What really is a threat of violence?” This blatant attempt at avoiding a question, because he has no idea what he’s talking about, was entirely disregarded afterward. Joe Biden, who is currently taking his bimonthly vacation to Cancun to visit Ted Cruz, has made no public comment on behalf of himself or his cabinet. Still, the Democratic party has since embarked on a “wild goose chase” to find the whereabouts of the 81-year-old. Pete Buttigieg, the United States Secretary of Transportation, spent his past weeks “on the move,” prowling the streets of Cancun to find his dear Joe. On his travels, he furiously declared from a balcony, “O’ Biden, Biden, wherefore art thou Biden?” The ides of March have occurred. The whereabouts of President Biden are still unknown.

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