Fake News: Clarkston wins back Throne


Digital illustration by Kristin Starr.

Cecelia Thomas, Staff Feature Writer

Golden Throne took a turn in 2021. Many Bengals went limping home from the gnarly battle. Still, since not many people have gotten the memo, this year, on Feb. 6, the Clarkston Bantams defeated the Lewiston Bengals.
By halftime Bantams had a whopping 132 points to our measly 4, just when we thought the heat couldn’t get any hotter a bunch of chickens went running through the gymnasium.
Joe Shamoe, a Lewiston Bengal, went in for a basket and had a dramatic fall when his foot slid out from under him in chicken poop. He was found in the parking lot at half time, crying and yelling about the game’s unfairness.
The Throne will now, in honor of the Bantams, be painted a royal red.
“The ultimate deflation of the Bengals will result in the end of our annual Golden Throne, and Clarkston Bantams will permanently be holders of the Throne,” said Leonardo DeCarl.