FAKE NEWS: Local couple to give out homemade, vegan, gluten free, non-GMO candy on Halloween


Josh Tatko, Sports Editor

Children receive all kinds of candy on Halloween. But one Lewiston couple has noticed that very few candy brands offer options that are vegan, gluten-free, non-GMO and free-range. This couple is Matt and Melissa White.

“Sugar canes deserve rights too,” said Melissa in an interview with the Purr.

“What the big corporations do to make this candy is animal cruelty,” Matt told the Purr. He refused to comment on the fact that sugar cane is a plant.

The White couple recently moved to Lewiston from San Francisco, California, and felt appalled at the lack of vegan restaurants here. They have since started their own vegan restaurant with homemade, gluten free, non-GMO, free-range dinners and desserts.

Because big corporations neglected the vegan, gluten-intolerant GMO-truthers this Halloween, the White couple elected to give children the candy they make, all while spreading the good word of PETA.

The three candies they will give out are chocolates, caramels and mints. The chocolates will be made with all natural cocoa powder straight from Cote d’Ivoire, where diminishing returns on cacao farming will make chocolate a luxury on par with caviar by the end of the decade. The caramels will be made with humanely-sourced sugar, straight from the farms in the Amazon that are rapidly replacing the rainforest. And the mints will be made with spearmint from the couple’s backyard.