FAKE NEWS: School district requires Orbeez guns for safety

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Jordis Aiken, Sports assistant

In an effort to protect students from potential dangers, local schools will now require them to carry an Orbeez gun at all times when on campus.
These guns have proven to be non-lethal; they will only leave a welt the size of a nickel. The guns are not to be used during class times, only during passing periods, lunch and before or after school. The only limitations are no headshots, no teachers and no vehicles.
The Purr interviewed a few students, asking their opinions on the new Orbeez gun mandate.
“I personally think it’s a really good idea. There has been some strange stuff happening here at the school,” said an LHS senior.
But one freshman added, “I think it’s going to be very dangerous with everyone carrying an Orbeez gun around school. To be honest, I’m quite scared.”
The Orbeez requirement will take effect after Memorial Day weekend, which would be the perfect time to go out and purchase one.