FAKE NEWS: LHS holds first annual engine-revving competition


An LHS student shows off his new ride in the school parking lot. Photo courtesy of carscoops.com

Note: This article is part of the Bengals Purr April 2022 Fake News Satire.

Seeing the growing number LHS students driving large diesel pickups and straight-piped vehicles, Vice Principal Thad Carlint found a fantastic opportunity to bond with students and create something fun and annoying for the rest of LHS.
Carlint is putting together an engine-revving competition that will take place during this spring’s final exam days. This will ensure that the campus is quiet to maximize the volume of the engines.
Several students are incredibly excited about this opportunity. One student, Leeroy Dentures, stated that he wants to bring his father’s semi-truck that, when revved, has about the same decibels as a rock concert. More students are signing up for the event every day, all hoping for a chance to prove that their engine can make the most noise.
If the school is lucky enough, this might be able to cause enough noise to be heard from the coast of Oregon. Carlint added that if enough people participate and enjoy this event, they might hold the competitions during winter finals week and days for the ISAT, PSAT and SAT, solidifying the stress of test-taking.