Fake News: Lucky Charms mascot retires


Last Thursday at a major press conference, General Mills shocked the world with the announcement of Lucky the Leprechaun’s retirement.
Lucky, the beloved mascot of the sugary breakfast cereal, Lucky Charms, has been around since March 20, 1964.
In response to this announcement, the company has verified the new mascot will be none other than Barbara the Unicorn. Barbara has been sharing the spotlight with Lucky since the release of the magical unicorn marshmallows in 2018.
“I thought she was my friend,” Lucky said. “We were the perfect cereal together, and then one day, I got a call from my agent saying, ‘It’s nothing personal, but you’re being retired, and Barbara is taking your spot.'”
Lucky said he plans to move to the Bahamas and spend his days, “lying in a pool and drinking Coca-Cola.”