FAKE NEWS: Tesla develops new electric automobile technology

In light of recent inflation of gas pricees, Tesla CEO Elon Musk has further revolutionized the electric car industry with inventions to expand his electrical empire. The latest development offers a way for people to keep the cars they love with the luxury of cheaper fuel costs.
The idea for this new technology started when Musk attended a Lewiston High School event where students competed to see who could rev their car engines the loudest (see extended coverage of this on page 19). Musk realized how much money was being wasted on gas for this competition, so he decided to create an alternative to diesel motors and loud trucks. It’s called Tiesel.
This electric fuel alternative maintains the loud and annoying sounds of a diesel engine, along with its dark and conspicuous exhaust output. A Tiesel engine (trademark pending) is a more efficient substitute for the average diesel truck engine, getting 80 miles per gallon, while a diesel truck would only get around 25 mpg at most.
Musk plans to release this technology to the public this summer when he reveals a truck prototype that doesn’t look like a toddler designed it. While there is a lot of controversy around Tiesel, Musk assures both fans and haters that this will only help extend the planet’s lifespan. The 50-year-old CEO compared his technology to Impossible Foods’ meat alternatives.
“It sounds like a diesel and runs like a diesel,” Musk said. “The only difference is that you don’t have to go to the gas station to fuel up. You know the saying, ‘if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, then it’s a duck.’”