FAKE NEWS: “The Rock” canceled for his excessive attractiveness

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The Rock gets cancelled. Image created by Danica Keane

Danica Keane, Sports Editor

In 2021 and 2022, many celebrities have been canceled for different reasons. But one beloved celebrity has been canceled for the unthinkable. Was it racism? Homophobia? Sexism? No.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has been canceled for being too attractive. It’s not because he promotes unrealistic body standards; it’s because he is just too attractive. His beauty causes all the moms to enter a crazy spiral in which they fight everyone who shares the same opinion.
“The Rock” has yet to release a statement.
Every mom in the world has been taken to a facility where they can no longer look at any picture of him or watch any movie with him in it. It’s been a long, hard time for the moms in the facility. The Purr had the opportunity to interview a woman in the facility named Becky Bieber.
“My obsession started when I saw him in the movie Tooth Fairy,” she said. “After that, I did intense research on him and his life. I know that his favorite color is blue and his dog is named Rupert.”
The question remains, though: how is this Johnson’s fault? His level of attractiveness is causing insanity and violence. It’s definitely not the fault of these moms. It’s on him due to his strong, beautiful and toned arms. He’s too gorgeous, and he must be stopped.