FAKE NEWS: Zuckerberg’s true identity revealed

Zuckerberg+after+the+interview%2C+exposing+his+green+skinned+heritage.+Photo+edited+by+Matthew+Dugdale%2C+Original+photo+courtesy+of+bonneville.com.

Zuckerberg after the interview, exposing his green skinned heritage. Photo edited by Matthew Dugdale, Original photo courtesy of bonneville.com.

Matthew Dugdale, Photography Manager

On July 30, 2020, NASA launched the rover Perseverance to investigate the surface of Mars. A serendipitous discovery was made, exposing the Martian origins of Mark Zuckerberg. The tech genius has denied interviews about his life before arriving on Earth. He has, however, answered a list of questions for the public. Many have had speculations about his species, and he settled the rumors. “Though very controversial, I am not a ‘lizard-person,’ as some might say,” Zuckerberg explained. “For the rest of my species and I myself, find this highly offensive. I prefer the term ‘humanly-challenged.’” Zuckerberg also confessed to creating Facebook for the data collection of humans. “The plan was to invade, but we never found the right time,” he said. “The very thing that we created kept reminding us of the birthday of each human on earth. My species finds birthing dates to be sacred, and we keep the peace.” Since this humanly-challenged species has proven to have superior technology, all humans can do is pray they don’t invade.