By Sandra Kinney
Co-Editor in Chief

Lewiston High School teachers Billy Autrey and Matthew Dabbs have kicked off the new year with their budding platonic romance as fiery and passionate as ever. While the two of them have relationships outside of work, the work spouses have left quite the impression on the student body of LHS, earning themselves the glorious ‘ship name “Dautrey.”
“He’s so silly.” Dabbs said, nearly forcing Autrey to hold his hand during the interview. “We met on the first day of work at new teacher training. I sat next to him and I knew it was platonic love at first sight.”
The two refer to themselves as spouses because, as Dabbs put it, “That’s just what you do when you find your platonic love partner.”
Many students of LHS are aware that both members of Dautrey are active in the video gaming community. This is a bond that one can never break.
Another activity they enjoy together? “Eating Costco pizza,” the two said in unison.
“Our anniversary isn’t important,” said Dabbs. “We celebrate our platonic love as much as possible with Costco pizza.”
“Which will be every B-day [this] semester!” said Autrey.
“Woohoo! Same prep!” shouted Dabbs, and the two high-fived.
While many believe that the Dautrey relationship is perfect, every love story has its faults.
“He doesn’t have a moral compass,” Autrey said, of Dabbs.
“I have one, it’s just not traditional. He is always trying to tell me what to do,” said Dabbs accusingly.
In many relationships, it is said that one “wears the pants” but that is not the case with LHS’s notorious spouses.
“Neither of us wear the pants.” said Dabbs.
“Mrs. Funk wears the pants.” Autrey interjected.
“Yes!” agreed Dabbs, laughing at his spouse.
Having children often complicates any relationship, and this platonic relationship is no acception. Autrey recently had a baby with his wife, and Dabbs is having no part in it.
“Stupid, all babies are dumb. I do appreciate that he named it Matthew, though, it’s a good name. Baby Matthew. Good. Although today I found out that it lost a leg. Autrey’s dog, Lucy, ate it, and it was really weird,” Dabbs said. “How is he going to be a champion runner now? HE IS GOING TO BE LIKE THE BLADE RUNNER!”
The pair also proved just how close they aren’t with a few trivia questions. Dabbs’ hit the mark, saying that Autrey’s favorite movie was Die Hard. But Autrey had no such luck.
“Dead Poets Society!” he shouted.
“No, it’s The Fifth Element! I’m mad you didn’t know that.” said Dabbs.
“Yeah, I didn’t know that.” replied Autrey.
Autrey’s room is known to be a cluttered space.
“It looks like a tornado flew around his room,” said Dabbs. “He managed to take a bigger room [than last year] and fill it up with even more crap.”
Autrey could only nod his head in agreement at the statement, letting Dabbs do most of the talking per usual.
It didn’t take Autrey long to chime in on the matter of intelligence, however.
“I’m smarter, I have a masters degree,” said Autrey.
Dabbs fired back, claiming, “Masters degrees are a dime a dozen nowadays. I have a bachelor’s degree.” he said.
“So me — I’m smarter,” stated Autrey.
The two have made it well known to the school that their platonic love is very much real.
“Our relationship works because I’m awesome, and he’s OK.” said Dabbs.
“I’m a fixer.” said Autrey, causing the two to laugh.
“My advice to spouses around the world is to just go to sleep, don’t trust them, and whenever they agitate you, just send aggressive emails to all staff,” said Autrey.
“Make sure you are always mad when you go to sleep, and don’t ever talk about anything that matters with each other. Don’t ever trust them, and spend money without telling them,” said Dabbs.